ID	KEYWORD	WORD COUNT	ENTRY DATE	NOTES	
8	Brainstorming	563	5/1/2010	Okay -- this is my first day of brainstorming for Night's End. So far I have a couple of characters: Kate Angelo and her husband Nick Angelo. Kate is a clinical psychologist and a mystery writer. Nick is a columnist at the Post Dispatch. Kate is currently working as the intake counselor at St. Sebastian Hospital, a hospital for the mentally ill. She also has a small private practice. At one time she'd been a staff counselor at St. Sebastian but she’d become burned out after several years of dealing with hard-core mental cases who showed no hope for improvement. When the intake position was created, Kate had been first in line to apply for it and had won it hands down over the other applicants.

She’d felt an enormous sense of relief at being off the firing line -- accompanied by an equal feeling of guilt at shirking front line duty. Doing the testing had seemed like a vacation compared to her previous duties. She now was working the position on a part-time basis, to give her time for her small private practice and her mystery writing. This will probably be third person although I just did my practice with Kate Angelo and first person. I'll try to do the same thing in third person and see how it goes. I'm going to make this work. And I'll get the message about my plot and the story and the scenes and the characters and how to put suspense into it -- to keep people on the edge of their seats -- to make them apprehensive and concerned about what's going to happen. Nick and Kate have a weekend a-frame in the woods. It had belonged to Nick's parents but when they retired, they bought a year-round residence in a wooded enclave and had deeded the small a-frame over to Nick and Kate. The Angelos spent as many weekends out there as they could. In fact, at the start of the book, Kate was called in to St. Sebastian and she and Nick had been out at the A-frame. Nick has just sold his first book, a collection of the newspaper columns that he writes. The book was purchased by a small press,the University of Missouri in Columbia, Nick and Kate's alma mater, and the advance wasn't much. But Nick was over the moon over having sold his book. Kate hasn't sold her first mystery novel yet but is encouraged by Nick's sale of his book and knows hers will come when the time is right., also to a small press located on the West Coast. She's currently struggling with her book and is trying to find the right direction to go. Nick and Kate have been married for 10 years. They were high school sweethearts, went to Mizzou together, then went to different universities for their master's degrees. Nick got a full-ride scholarship to the Columbia University School of Journalism in New York City. Kate stayed in St. Louis and enrolled in Washington University. She too had gotten a generous scholarship and had worked part-time jobs to supplement the scholarship. 563	
9		526	5/2/2010	Second day of Night's End. I'm thinking about using past things -- like Serena hitting her stepfather over the head with a frying pan and killing him when he tries to rape her sister -- that's from reckless endangerment, I think. I also want to use the miscarriage and the two black kittens from Night Woods and Chessy and Jack. I'll name the kittens Tucker and Taylor. Maybe I'll make them look like Tucker and Taylor. I'm using St. Sebastian and stuff from the first Night's End. I think Kate's father left when she was a girl. Her mother took a job as a secretary and managed to support them. They sometimes had to live with one or another of her aunts -- her mother's sisters but her mother always managed to get them back in a place of their own. It was a good childhood, though. Even though they didn't have much money, Kate's mother created a magical childhood for her daughter. Jenny Schreiber was a creative, joyous woman who knew how to live life to its fullest. She taught those attributes to her daughter. Jenny had two years of college before she married Larry Schreiber, one of her classmates at the junior college she attended. He had struggled through a series of jobs, not knowing what he wanted to do with his life. He had a temper and that caused him problems wherever he worked. Things would be going along all right and then someone would do something to make him mad and his anger would erupt and turn into an uncontrollable rage and he would end up getting fired again. One day when Kate was 10, Larry Schreiber got fired again. He came home still boiling and took his anger out on Jenny and Kate, yelling at them, threatening them, pushing them around, but never actually hitting them. But his behavior frightened Jenny enough that she asked him to leave. That fanned the flames of his anger even more and this time he did hit Jenny. She was so shocked that she grabbed Kate and ran from the house, heading over to a sister who lived a few blocks away. Later that day, Jenny's sister drove Jenny and Kate back to their house to find Larry gone, along with most of his belongings. Jenny learned that he had cleaned out their checking and savings accounts., leaving her with nothing. All through the years, Jenny and Kate had thought he'd come back or at least contact them but they hadn't heard a word. As Kate grew up and was able to take care of herself, Jenny went back to college and finished her degree. She was promoted to office manager from secretary, then was made a vice president of the small plumbing supply firm. In her spare time she wrote romances, a hobby that had started when she was a little girl. She'd never thought what she wrote was much good but she joined a writers' group and they encouraged her to submit one of her manuscripts. The book caught the attention of an editor at the publishing firm to which Jenny submitted her manuscript and the editor bought the book.526	
10		507	5/3/2010	May 3, 2010
I thought I liked the idea of first-person for Kate - and I thought about first-person for Nick also. But now I'm thinking third person all the way through. I'll try that and see how it works. 

I don't want to let myself off lightly by using the good stuff from the previous books. I still have some creativity and clever ideas somewhere here - so I'll come up with some new stuff.
Brainstorming:
It's coming up on Kate's and Nick's 10th wedding anniversary and each of them, unbeknownst to the other, is planning something very special. Their plans get tangled up and for a brief time it's a mess but then it all gets straightened out. I'll figure out what special plans each of them devised.
I decided Kate's dad is currently not on the scene. He may play a role in today's world of Kate. Nick's parents are still very much around, as is his sister and his brother. They're a close, loving family. They lived a privileged life - Mr. Angelo is an executive vice president at Boeing, one of the world's leading aerospace firms, his area is headquartered in St. Louis. He's been with the firm all his working life and started out as a co-op studenl from Rolla School of Mines and Metallurgy.
Mrs. Angelo is a society lady but struggles to be normal and treat her inferiors well. I haven't decided whether she's going to be a bitchy snob like Mrs. Ellerman or not. I'll think about that. Kate recently went through horrendous fertility treatments and is taking a breather from them because it almost destroyed her marriage, her sanity and all her close friendships.
Nick is hot on the trail of a fascinating series of columns but won't share any of it with anyone. He's afraid if the topic leaks, someone else will jump on it or his sources will dry up. He loves his parents but understands their shortcomings and accepts them anyway. He and his sister are extremely close and withstand the onslaughts of the elder Angelos.
Kate and Nick have an A-frame in the woods and a loft apartment in downtown St. Louis. They always planned to move to the suburbs once they had children but since that hasn't happened yet, they're still in their loft. Nick brought home two kittens for Kate right after the miscarriage, so that she would have something to absorb all the love she'd been storing up inside for the projected baby, as the two of them had called it. The kittens are now lean and lanky cats named Tucker and Taylor and they bring much joy to Nick and Kate. Nick found them in a corner of Soulard Market under a sign that said Free Kittins. He'd given the little girl who was giving away the kittens all the money he'd had in his wallet — $73 and change. 507	
11		539	5/4/2010	May 4, 2010
After they'd been married five years, Kate got pregnant and miscarried at 4 1/2 months .It was a hard adjustment and this is when Nick brought home the two kittens, one coal black and one beautiful cream siamese coloring. For the next few years, Kate tried to get pregnant but nothing happened. Her ob/gyn referred her to a fertility specialist and Kate and Nick spent the next couple of years on the fertility roller coaster. Kate went through the fertility treatments while she was still seeing patients at St. Sebastian and her emotional ups and downs with the hormones were the main reason she took on the intake counselor role. She'd come close to losing her temper with several of her patients and she knew she had to do something. It was as though she was consumed with rage. It seemed that at any moment she might erupt in a tirade of anger and bitterness and resentment. Kate had always been such an easygoing, positive, happy person, and she didn't know how to handle this alien person who now inhabited her body.
Even Nick, being the gentle, understanding, accepting person that he was, found it difficult to deal with Kate when she went on one of her rampages. One evening, he'd even walked out, not knowing what to say or do but knowing it would do no good to stick around and get caught in Kate's ranting and raving. There had finally come a time when the director of her department sat her down for a heart-to-heart, telling Kate that everyone had noticed the change in her behavior and demeanor and outlook on life and that her colleagues and co-workers were concerned about her.
Kate hadn't shared anything about the fertility treatments with anyone at work. She finally told her director who understood immediately, having gone through much the same thing a few years back. The director told Kate that she needed to either take a leave of absence or stop the fertility treatments. She couldn't continue to see patients while she was on the drugs. That was right at the time that the intake job was created and Kate immediately jumped on that option. Her director agreed that she could handle that job and that the emotions would be minimal. Her director did say that they would try it for a month and see how it went. If that didn't work out, and Kate wanted to continue the fertility treatments, she would have to take a medical leave of absence. Kate agreed, and took the intake position. But shortly after that was the episode with Nick and that was the final blow to the fertility treatments. Kate stopped the hormone shots and the drugs, willing to be childless because she was afraid her mood swings were messing up her marriage. It was like the difference between night and day. One day she was a monster and the next day, she began to act like her old self. It took almost a month to get all of the drugs out of her system but the immediate improvement was a godsend.
Kate told her director she'd prefer to stay in the intake position for awhile just to get head back on straight.539	
12		518	5/5/2010	May 5, 2010

I'm working on creating the villain for Night's End.

His name is Jason Angelo. He's the beautiful twin son of wealthy parents. It's old money, brewery mingled with chemicals a touch of shoes an d a sprinkling of aerospace, all the former movers and shakers of St. Louis money.

His twin brother is named 
Wait a minute

Is he Nick's twin brother? Are they estranged? Is Jason estranged from his family? Or is Nick estranged from everyone?

Does everyone know there's something wrong with Jason or is it a deep dark secret.

Jason is tall and well-built, with dark blond hair and brilliant blue eyes. He's charming and handome and intelligent.

He went to private schools and Washington University. Nick chose to go to public schools and the University of Missouri. They're identical twins in looks but complete opposites in terms of personality. Nick identified with regular people and Jason was all about wealth and position and prestige.

Nick chose the path he did because of Kate. He met her when he was in high school and chose to go to public school.

There were always problems with Jason from childhood. He seemed off just a little. His mother doted on him. As a toddler, he'd almost drowned in the family swimming pool, courtesy of a neglectful nanny. After this almost tragic accident, Mrs. Angelo had become overprotective of Jason. 

Nick was sort of an afterthought with his mother but he handled it okay -- he was self-sufficent and loving and caring. His father intuitively gave him the attention he needed.

There's an older sister who also looked after Nick. she took the measure of Jason and knew she wanted no part of him. Her name is Megan -- Nick calls her Meggie and loves her madly. She's now sister Mary Thomas, a nun in a nearby convent.

Nick went to a neighborhood public school -- Jason went to the most prestigious most expensive Catholic schools. Megan had gone to Catholic grade school and high school. She entered the convent after high school Nick was devastated to lose his older sister. But it wasn't a cloistered convent. The family could visit Sister Mary thomas and she could come visit the family on holidays. 

Kate and Sister Mary Thomas were close -- MT, as Nick and Kate called her, was two years older than Nick and Kate and had grown close to her brother's girlfriend.

Kate's family is not Catholic and Nick is not so Catholic anymore. I'll figure this part out later. Nick is who he is partly because of his father and his sister. Jason is who he is because his mother made him that way. Because he almost died, she coddled him and protected him and gave him everything he asked for. He was never disciplined. He learned at an early age how to lie and deceive and get away with things. Nick and Megan saw him for who he really was but most other people didn't --e xcept for the women he took advantage of and which his mother paid off. 518	
13		506	5/6/2010	May 6, 2010
What is the mystery? What has Jason done? Who is he after? I think I'll use the caves at St. Sebastian. There's a secret entrance in the bluffs overlooking the Mississippi. Harry shows Kate. Harry is creepy. For awhile Kate thinks Harry is after her. She feels like someone is following her. She gets phone calls where someone hangs up. She's feeling beleaguered and she's afraid at firm to say anything to Nick because of what they went through with the fertility hormones. She thinks he'll think it's just her whack) mind again.
She talks to one of her two best friends, Tamara (have to find a last name, unless there's one in my journal.) Tamara is a police detective for the Park Lane police — Park Lane is a ritzy suburb of St. Louis - the ritziest one there is. Tamara gets a big kick out of the fact that she's sort of a wrong side of the track kid and here she is mingling and mixing with the hoi polloi.
Tamara takes Kate's concerns seriously because of the kind of people she's involved with in her job. She gives Kate some safety tips and insists that she start carrying mace with her and that she stays out of dangerous places. Their other best friend, Harley, is a professor in the criminal justice department at the University of Missouri- St. Louis and they bring her into the discussion. Harley shares with them a similar experience she had with a stalker when she was working on her doctorate in San Francisco. The stalker was seriously dangerous and his actions had led to the accidental death of one of his victims. Harley's advice was for Kate to tell Nick immediately what was going on. He could be her best protection.
Kate debated with herself over that action because she feared Nick wouldn't take her seriously and that would really upset her.
Harley, Tamara and Kate had gotten together for dinner at a downtown restaurant close to Nick and Kate's loft apartment. Her friends had insisted on coming home with her and being there while she talked to Nick. Kate liked that idea because she thought Nick would be less apt to not take her seriously if he saw that her two best friends did. The three women are about the same age. They met in college and have remained close friends ever since, despite some absences from one another while Tamara wen! to live in Arizona for a couple of years and Harley went out to California to work on her master's and doctorate. Tamara is married to another policeman on the St. Louis police force. Harley is engaged to her high school sweetheart and has been engaged for almost 15 years. Tamara and Kate tease her constantly about the longest engagement in modern history.
I'll think of names for Harley's finance and Tamara's husband and all the parents. Jason is not married, has never been married, has had serial affairs of various degrees of seriousness. 506	
14		536	5/7/2010	Friday, May 7, 2010

Seem to be having an Internet connection problem so I’ll write for awhile without ftp etc. There’s a huge area in the southwest county area of St. Louis, along the Mississippi River, where there is a labyrinth of caves. There are entrances to the caves along the bluff.s It’s all private property, owned by the Angelo family, although hardly anyone knows that. St. Sebastian and the Sisters of Immaculata Convent are owned by the Catholic church.

Kate is not Catholic. She belongs to New Thought type church and Nick goes with her and feels better about that church than the Catholic church. 

What is my mystery? I think my mystery is that Jason Angelo is a serial killed who’s covered his tracks very well for years. He starts stalking Kate. She gets these creepy feelings that she can’t explain.

There’s no love lost between the twin brothers. Nick tolerates his brother for the sake of the family and Jason appears to do the same. They keep up appearances but actually don’t like each other. Kate has to admit that it’s weird being married to a twin, there being someone else in the world that looks like her husband. Especially someone that she doesn’t like. 

Nick writes a column about the disappearance of a beautiful young waitress from a posh, exclusive downtown athletic club. It caught his interest because one of his bosses at the newspaper had taken Nick there for lunch and they’d been waited on by Sammy, the waitress who had disappeared. Nick had remembered her because she’d introduced herself as “Sammy, like the character on the soap opera Days of Our Lives.”

Nick had speculated on the fate of the young waitress, on what looked like a tragic ending to an already tragic life. She’d been a bubbly, vivacious charming girl. His boss had been waited on by her for several years and he was quite taken with her. The police hadn’t been able to find any trace of her. She lived in a downtown apartment with two other girls her same age and neither of them had any idea where she might have gone or what was going on. She originally came from a mall farm town in southern Missouri and had come to St. Louis to make her fame and fortune.

She’d been scheduled to work a big party at the Athletic Club on a Friday night. It was a wedding rehearsal dinner hosted by one of the prominent families in St. Louis. Sammy’s co-workers said she’d been eagerly anticipating the party, anxious to see all the St. Louis movers and shakers, with the women in their.elegant gowns and the men in their tuxedos.

When Sammy didn’t show up in the time, the wait staff manager had called her apartment but there was no answer. Sammy only lived two blocks away from the club so the manager sent one of the busboys to go check on her.

The boy returned in half an hour to report that there was no one home but the oddest thing – the door to the apartment was standing wide open, something unheard of in downtown St. Louis, where frequent robberies were the norm. 536	
15		519	5/8/2010	Saturday, May 8, 2010

Jason had taken Sammy. On the Angelo property, there was an old hunting fishing cabin that supposedly no one had used for years. But Jason had been using it for his own purposes. He’d had some renovations done by an out of town construction company on the QT – so no one knew what was going on. The cabin had an entrance into the caves on the bluffs, just like St. Sebastian did. But no one knows about the cave entrances in the cabin but Jason and the one in St. Sebastian is known only to Harry the handyman who tries to be Kate’s friend. 

Sammy the waitress is a beautiful blond, a vivacious, sparkly girl, who’s smart, who’s attending the local community college, where she’s studying hotel management. Jason met her at the Athletic Club and quietly cultivated her acquaintance. His MO is to befriend the girls, then lure them out to his hunting lodge. There he takes them prisoner and keeps them down in the labyrinth of caves. He rapes them, and eventually he kills them. Over the years he’s killed five girls. Sammy is the sixth. He buries the bodies in the cave, way back in dead-end corridors. 

Jason has always been fascinated by Kate, from afar because he hardly ever sees her. He tells himself that she’s fascinated with him also. But actually she’s creeped out by him and tries to see him as little as possible. 

We’re going to save Sammy but just barely.

The other girls who disappeared were never found – they were from poor backgrounds, off the radar with little or no family. Nick’s Dad is a good guy, who patiently puts up with an off the wall wife who’s a bitch and who spoiled and coddled and ruined Jason. Because of Mrs. Angelo’s protectiveness and refusal to let Jason out of her sight, Mr. Angelo became closest to Nick. He didn’t spend much time with Jason because Mrs. Angelo usurped all his time. Meggie and Nick were fast friends, and Mr. Angelo doted on Meggie. The three of them had fine adventures together, without Jason and Mrs. Angelo.

Meggie wanted to get away from her mother and the convent seemed like a perfect refuge. She knew she would miss her father and her brother Nick, but the damage her mother was doing to her was unbearable. Mrs. Angelo criticized Meggie unbearably. Nothing Meggie did was ever right or good enough. According to her mother, she wasn’t pretty enough, she wasn’t smart enough, no man would ever want to marry her. The constant barrage of criticism was more than Meggie could bear. She had confided her unhappiness to one of the sisters who taught at her high school, and the nun had suggested that Meggie consider devoting her life to God. It had sounded like such a wonderful refuge to Meggie. She investigated the sisterhood and decided it was something she wanted to do. To her great surprise, her mother had been overwhelmed with joy at her daughter’s calling. For the first time in her life, Meggie felt that her mother approved of what she was doing. 519	
16		555	5/9/2010	Sunday, May 9, 2010
Nick's grandmother on his mother's side had come to live with the Angelos after Jason's almost drowning experience. She'd seen the mistake her daughter was making by doting on Jason and ignoring Nick and told her about it but her daughter paid no attention. So the grandmother took Nick under her wing, thank heavens. She was a very down to earth woman who came from a solid middle-class background and didn't have any of her daughter's pretentiousness.  She raised Nick to be a kind understanding human being who liked people and let them into his life, unlike his brother. The grandmother and mother need names. I'll worry about that tomorrow. The grandmother tried to help out with Jason but the daughter wouldn't let anyone interfere with the privileged way she was raising her son. In later years, Nick had speculated about how his brother became such a problem. Nick didn't know if Jason was born with sociopathic tendencies or whether his mother's coddling had caused them. 

Jason had distanced himself emotionally from everyone but his mother. He doted on her as much as she doted on him. Mr. Angelo saw what was going on and he and his mother in law managed to raise Nick to be a good person. They both continued to try to influence Jason and Mrs. Angelo but to no avail. 

Jason had gone to Washington University in St. Louis and had continued to live at home while attending college. He got an undergraduate degree in business and then an MBA with a major in finance. When he graduated, he became a money manager at a St. Louis brokerage. He and Nick had million dollar trust funds from their paternal grandparents and Jason began managing his own portfolio. He'd tried to convince Nick to let him handle his money also but Nick knew intuitively that it wouldn't be a good idea to mix money and family that way and had refused, leaving his money, with the family's long-time firm of financial advisors. Kate knew Jason but didn't like him at all. Jason kept his distance from the family except for his mother. They still spoke by phone every day and lunched together several times a week. Kate felt strongly that there was something really off about Jason. From a distance she'd diagnosed him as a sociopath and that diagnosis frightened her. She'd never shared all her feelings with Nick but she knew that he too felt there was something not right or not normal with his twin brother. It was one of those things that Mr. Angelo, the grandmother, Nick and Kate knew and felt but didn't discuss. 

Jason's office was in a Clayton high-rise and he lived a few blocks away in a multi-million dollar Clayton townhouse. He'd never married but always dated the beautiful society girls and then women. Nick and Kate saw him only at family gatherings for holidays and birthdays and never felt any inclination to see more of him..

Kate knew this was an unusual relationship and she'd talked to Haley, one of her best friends and her partner in their small downtown counseling practice. Haley knew Jason slightly and she too had the same reaction -- that he wasn't an understandable person.

But God is he handsome, Haley had raved. I'd like ot get him on my counseling couch. That had caused groans and much rolling of eyes from Kate.555	
17		500	5/10/2010	May 10, 2010
Kate's doctoral thesis had dealt with sociopathology. She'd never told anyone why she'd picked that topic and no one had ever questioned her about it. From the first day she met Jason, Kate felt there was something off about him. She'd been tempted to use twin studies but decided that was too close to home and everyone would understand what she was doing. Her motive behind choosing that topic was to make sure she understood her lover's twin brother - and to make this wasn't a genetic, inherited thing that Nick might evidence.
She was fairly certain that Jason's mother had been a strong contributing factor in his psychology. Kate had never shared her paper with anyone, particularly not Nick. He would have recognized his brother right away and Kate didn't want that to happen. She felt guilty about the topic and eventually came to regret her choice. But it had been too late to switch topics so she'd proceeded cautiously, making sure she kept it a deep, dark secret.
She had shared the paper and the topic with one of her best friends and now counseling partner. Haley had recognized and identified Jason immediately. She'd been concerned once she'd realized how very dysfunctional Jason was. Haley had encouraged Kate to share her thoughts and feelings with Nick but Kate had categorically refused. She knew Nick was far from being close to his twin brother, but Kate didn't want Nick to say anything to the family about her at a distance diagnosis of her brother in law to be.

The time has almost come to decide whether this is first or third person, or multiple first persons. I also need names for Nick's parents and grandmother and whoever else I haven't named yet. I think the crime(s) is the serial killings. I have to make it really clever and spooky and creepy with yucky basements and attics and deserted houses - but mostly the caves. I'm very excited about doing something about the caves. Harry shares the details with Kate and gives her a major guided tour but swears her to secrecy, telling her he could lose his job if anyone found out he'd told her about all this and taken her down into the caves.
Kate had paid close attention to what Harry told her and showed her. She thought she could find her way back into the caves and decided to do so, to check out some puzzling things she'd seen there. She knows she shouldn't but her curiosity gets the better of her. And besides, she thinks she may have lost one of her favorite earrings down there. She doesn't feel too terribly comfortable with Harry but doesn't have any reason for that feeling. None of the murdered girls bodies have ever been found so everyone thinks they just disappeared - ran away from home - not that they were murdered. Jason has buried all five of them in the caves and left no trace of them anvwhere.500	
18	Research		5/10/2010	Not to be confused with Avoidant personality disorder.
Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD or APD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual as "...a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood."[1]

The individual must be age 18 or older, as well as have a documented history of a conduct disorder before the age of 15.[1] People having antisocial personality disorder are sometimes referred to as "sociopaths" and "psychopaths".

Contents [hide]
1 History 
2 Symptoms 
3 Diagnostic criteria (DSM-IV-TR = 301.7) 
3.1 Criticism 
4 Diagnostic criteria (ICD-10) - dissocial personality disorder? 
5 Millon's subtypes 
6 Differential diagnosis: associated and overlapping conditions 
7 Prevalence (epidemiology) 
8 Treatment 
9 See also 
10 Notes 
11 External links 

[edit] History
The history of the origins of antisocial personality disorder are closely related to the history of psychopathy.

[edit] Symptoms
Characteristics of people with antisocial personality disorder may include:[2]

Persistent lying or stealing 
Apparent lack of remorse[3] or empathy for others 
Cruelty to animals[4] 
Poor behavioral controls — expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper 
A history of childhood conduct disorder 
Recurring difficulties with the law 
Tendency to violate the boundaries and rights of others 
Substance abuse 
Aggressive, often violent behavior; prone to getting involved in fights 
Inability to tolerate boredom 
Disregard for the safety of self or others 
[edit] Diagnostic criteria (DSM-IV-TR = 301.7)
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines antisocial personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:[1]

A) There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and the rights of others occurring since the age of 15, as indicated by three (or more) of the following: 
failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest; 
deceitfulness, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure; 
impulsivity or failure to plan ahead; 
irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults; 
reckless disregard for safety of self or others; 
consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations; 
lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another. 
B) The individual is at least 18 years of age. 
C) There is evidence of Conduct disorder with onset before age 15. 
D) The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or a manic episode. 
[edit] Criticism
Researchers have heavily criticized the ASPD DSM-IV criteria because not enough emphasis was placed on traditional psychopathic traits such as a lack of empathy, superficial charm, and inflated self appraisal.[citation needed]

These latter traits are harder to assess than behavioral problems (like impulsivity and acting out). Thus, the DSM-IV framers sacrificed validity for reliability. That is, the ASPD diagnosis focuses on behavioral traits, but only limited emphasis is placed on affective and unemotional interpersonal traits.

Researchers debate about whether psychopathy/sociopathy are incorrectly put together under ASPD. These clinicians and researchers who believe that it was incorrect to label the two in the same category are upset that an important distinction has been lost between these two disorders. In other words, the DSM-IV-TR considers ASPD and psychopathy to be the same, or similar. However, they are not the same since antisocial personality disorder is diagnosed via behavior and social deviance, whereas psychopathy also includes affective and interpersonal personality factors.[5]

Also, ASPD, unlike psychopathy, does not have biological markers confirmed to underpin the disorder.[citation needed] Other criticisms of ASPD are that it is essentially synonymous with criminality. Nearly 80%–95% of felons will meet criteria for ASPD — thus ASPD predicts nothing in criminal justice populations. Whereas, psychopathy scores (using the Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R)) is found in only ~20% of inmates and PCL-R is considered one of the best predictors of violent recidivism.[citation needed] Also, the DSM-IV field trials never included incarcerated populations.

The official stance of the American Psychiatric Association as presented in the DSM-IV-TR is that "psychopathy" and "sociopathy" are obsolete synonyms for antisocial personality disorder. The World Health Organization takes a similar stance in its ICD-10 by referring to psychopathy, sociopathy, antisocial personality, asocial personality, and amoral personality as synonyms for dissocial personality disorder.[citation needed]

[edit] Diagnostic criteria (ICD-10) - dissocial personality disorder?
The World Health Organization's ICD-10 defines a conceptually similar disorder to antisocial personality disorder called (F60.2) Dissocial personality disorder.[6]

It is characterized by at least 3 of the following: 
Callous unconcern for the feelings of others and lack of the capacity for empathy. 
Gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations. 
Incapacity to maintain enduring relationships. 
Very low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence. 
Incapacity to experience guilt and to profit from experience, particularly punishment. 
Markedly prone to blame others or to offer plausible rationalizations for the behavior bringing the subject into conflict. 
Persistent irritability. 
The criteria specifically rule out conduct disorders.[7] Dissocial personality disorder criteria differ from those for antisocial and sociopathic personality disorders.[8] 
It is a requirement of ICD-10 that a diagnosis of any specific personality disorder also satisfies a set of general personality disorder criteria.

[edit] Millon's subtypes
Theodore Millon identified five subtypes of antisocial.[9][10] Any individual antisocial may exhibit none, one or more than one of the following:

covetous antisocial - variant of the pure pattern where individuals feel that life has not given them their due. 
reputation-defending antisocial - including narcissistic features 
risk-taking antisocial - including histrionic features 
nomadic antisocial - including schizoid, avoidant features 
malevolent antisocial - including sadistic, paranoid features. 
[edit] Differential diagnosis: associated and overlapping conditions
The following conditions commonly coexist with antisocial personality disorder:[11]

Anxiety disorders 
Depressive disorder 
Substance-related disorders 
Somatization disorder 
Pathological gambling 
Borderline personality disorder 
Histrionic personality disorder 
Narcissistic personality disorder 
When combined with alcoholism, people may show frontal function deficits on neuropsychological tests greater than those associated with each condition.[12]

[edit] Prevalence (epidemiology)
Antisocial personality disorder in the general population is about 3% in males and 1% in females.[1][11]

It is seen in 3% to 30% of psychiatric outpatients.[1][11] The prevalence of the disorder is even higher in selected populations, such as people in prisons (who include many violent offenders).[13] Similarly, the prevalence of ASPD is higher among patients in alcohol or other drug (AOD) abuse treatment programs than in the general population (Hare 1983), suggesting a link between ASPD and AOD abuse and dependence.[14]

[edit] Treatment
 This section requires expansion. 

To date there have been no controlled studies reported which found an effective treatment for ASPD, although contingency management programs, or a reward system, has been shown moderately effective for behavioral change.[15] Some studies have found that the presence ASPD does not significantly interfere with treatment for other disorders, such as substance abuse,[16] although others have reported contradictory findings.[17]

[edit] See also
DSM-IV codes (personality disorders) 
The Mask of Sanity 
Psychopathy 
Malignant narcissism 
Conduct Disorder 
[edit] Notes
^ a b c d e Antisocial personality disorder - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fourth edition Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR) American Psychiatric Association (2000) - pages 645–650 
^ "Antisocial Personality, Sociopathy, and Psychopathy" 
^ "Antisocial Personality Disorder". Psychology Today. 2005. http://psychologytoday.com/conditions/antisocial.html. Retrieved 2007-02-20.  
^ Goleman, Daniel (7 August 1991), "Child's Love of Cruelty May Hint at the Future Killer", New York Times  
^ Hare, R.D., Hart, S.D., Harpur, T.J. Psychopathy and the DSM—IV Criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder (pdf file) 
^ Dissocial personality disorder - International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems 10th Revision (ICD-10) 
^ 602 "F60.2 Dissocial personality disorder". World Health Organization. http://www.who.int/classifications/apps/icd/icd10online/?gf60.htm+F602. Retrieved 2008-01-12.  
^ Early Prevention of Adult Antisocial Behavior. Cambridge University Press. p. 82. http://books.google.com/books?id=KtXU8R8oZYwC&pg=PA82&lpg=PA82&dq=dissocial+personality+disorder&source=web&ots=lVx_gb_9mM&sig=U_bMqyc-KlzHKEvzXBdeZxplN2E. Retrieved 2008-01-12.  
^ Millon, Theodore, Personality Disorders in Modern Life, 2004 
^ Millon, Theodore - Personality Subtypes 
^ a b c Internet Mental Health - antisocial personality disorder 
^ Oscar-Berman M; Valmas M, Sawyer K, Kirkley S, Gansler D, Merritt D, Couture A (April 2009). "Frontal brain dysfunction in alcoholism with and without antisocial personality disorder". Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment 2009 (5): 309–326. PMID 19557141. http://www.dovepress.com/getfile.php?fileID=4829.  
^ Hare 1983 
^ "Antisocial Personality Disorder, Alcohol, and Aggression". Alcohol Research & Health. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. 2006. http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-1/5-11.pdf. Retrieved 2007-02-20.  
^ J. E. Fisher & W. T. O'Donohue (eds). (2006). Practitioner's Guide to Evidence-Based Psychotherapy, p63 
^ S. Darke, R. Finlay-Jones, S. Kaye, & T. Blatt. Anti-social personality disorder and response to methadone maintenance treatment. Drug and Alcohol Review, vol. 15, 271-276 (1996) 
^ A. I. Alterman, M. J. Rutherford, J. S. Cacciola, J. R. McKay, & C. R. Boardman. Prediction of 7 months methadone maintenance treatment response by four measures of antisociality. Drug & Alcohol Dependence, vol. 49, 217-223 (1998) 
[edit] External links
 Look up antisocial in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. 
"Into the Abyss." Article on street crime referencing the roots and consequences of sociopathic behavior 
DSM IV-TR Criteria for Antisocial personality disorder 
Psychopathy and Antisocial Personality Disorder: A Case of Diagnostic Confusion 
Antisocial personality, Sociopathy, and psychopathy North Carolina Wesleyan College, 2005 
Recent Studies Implicate Slow Monoamine Oxidase Enzyme/High Circulating T3 in Antisocial Behavior/Aggression/Violence 2007	
19		565	5/11/2010	Tuesday, May 11, 2010-05-11
When Jason was a little boy, he discovered the caves underneath his family's hunting lodge and kept the secret to himself. He was a very secretive, sneaky little boy, a loner. He and Nick never played together much and Jason didn't make many friends. Nick had all kinds of friends that were always over at his house or else he was over at their houses. Mrs. Angelo never encouraged Jason to play with Nick and his friends or accompany them anywhere. She preferred to keep her precious angel, miracle boy nearby. Jason, being the sneaky little thing that he was, used his mother's attachment to him for his own purposes.
Jason went through the whole childhood syndrome of abusing animals but I can't dwell on that or get graphic about it. I can mention something about a missing dog or two but I don't want to get too deeply into that. For some reason, I can't bear to think about or read about or watch cruelty to animals, especially cats.
When Kate goes down into the caves, she takes a flashlight. She gets turned around and lost and comes upon the area that Jason set up to hide his particular section of the cave infrastructure. He made it look like the ceiling had collapsed, with boulders blocking the way. Kate thought it looked interesting and she was able to see through to the other side and thought she saw the faint glimmer of a light. Then her flashlight started to dim and she decided she'd better get herself back to safety. She would come back another time, with a fresh flashlight and a backup to boot.
What she'd caught a glimpse of was Jason's staging area. He kept his treasures as he thought of them, chained to a post he'd put on the floor of the cave. He had started out years ago with a motion sensitive video camera set up on a tripod and focused on his captive. Then as webcam technology came about and then improved, he set up a laptop plugged into a small generator so that whenever he had a captive or prey or treasure he could watch them whenever and wherever he wanted. He kept up with all the latest technology. He was also part of a secret online chat group that was in to capturing and torturing and raping victims. He was a lurker, never joining in, because he feared being discovered.
Here's my plan: f will finish my 500 words here - Then I will print the whole thing out and read it and scratch out ideas that I'm no longer interested in using. I'll also come up with names for Mr. and Mrs. Angelo, the grandmother of Nick that took care of him. And I'll change Jenny Schreiber's name -1 don't like Schreiber. I haven't decided about Kate's dad yet. I don't know if he left or if he's dead or if he's still there and a wonderful presence like Leslie Davis's dad. I can decide that later. My plan is to do notes this way for awhile until I have the crimes and the characters and the scenes well in mind. Then I'll start writing for real. And by that time, I'll know if I want to use first person, multiple first person, third person or a combination of first and third person. 565	
20		525	6/5/2010	June 5, 2010 -- This is the first time I've done writing on the computer since the vertigo episode. I've done a little in the notebook and that's what I'm going to type in here now, plus whatever else I think of. But first I'm going to enlarge the type on the computer. I've now nelarged the fonts and it works much better. I should have done this a long time ago. I did it to my computer at work and that's a good thing.  5/31/10--Nick and Kate's wedding was in New York City at the Dakota, with the reception at Tavern on the Green. What is Kate like? She's very pretty, very smart -- a good, loving person who cares about her patients. She's sparkly and vivacious and engaging. Anyone who talks with her falls under her spell. Nick is quirkly but equally good and delightful. His mind goes in unusual ways. He's a free spirit, an independent thinker. Nick is good-looking, with dark eyes and bright blue eyes. Medium height and medium build. Healthy -- he's a runner. Kate walks and sometimes they walk really fast together, a compromise on both their parts. In high school, Nick was editor of the school newspaper and Kate was editor of the yearbook. Nick brought a different flavor to the newspaper  He was always looking for the deeper story, the story behind the story. The reasons for the story. Both the high school paper and the Post-Dispatch. 6/1/10 -- Nick has a sense of humor and a true, kind heart. He's very much his father's son. Kate loves her father-in-law -- he's a substitute father for her. Nick is gentle but strong and determined. From childhood, he understood the world. He also understood that something was very wrong with his twin brother Jason and he walled himself off from that. I see bluffs, cliffs, an abandoned quarry. 6/2/10 -- Nick is a fallen away Catholic. Kate is a New thought, New Ager. Victoria and Parker Angelo are devout Catholics. Thunder and lightning -- thunderstorms -- gales and gusts of wind. Where do Parker and Victoria live? They have an estate in the Huntleigh Woods area. 6/3/10 -- I think Kate's father disappeared when she was a little girl. Her mother, Jenny Davis, managed to support them on her secretary's salary. Growing up, Kate never knew just how little money they had. Jenny could work miracles with a small amount of money. 6/4/10 -- Tomorrow after I get home from the storeI will spend several hours writing (ha!). Typing in the things I've written since the episode that I've done in the notebook that aren't in the computer. I'll read through the notes -- Listen to Pachebel -- Candles -- Merlot -- Relaxed -- At ease -- Comfortable. I think maybe Jenny worked for Mr. Angelo and fell in love with him. I think he fell in love with her too and they had an affair but his wife wouldn't give him a divorce because of their religion and because of her spitefulness. She is an evil woman -- a combination of Mrs. Ellerman and Andie.525	
21		576	6/6/2010	6/6/10 -- I had the episode to bring me close to God -- so that I can live in constant awareness of God -- like the God is the Answer book and time at Fort Benning. So I'm thinking that I want my writing to reflect my belief in God -- to reflect what I believe -- that I believe in goodness and the strength of faith in God. Not that God does everything for us so we don't have t do anything. But that God is the end all and be all of everything. God is good and God is in everything. We're all part of God and God is part of us. Positive thinking, thinking good, strong positive thoughts is the way God wants us to live our llives and it's the way I want to live mine. First and foremost, we love to serve God. Serving God is our joy and our mission and our purpose and our calling. Give it up to God. Give your all to God. Let go of your ego and your selfishness and your personality and give it all to God. Follow God's way. Trust that He will lead and guide you in the right way, in your way. God is in me and through me. I feel His presence. I sit in the silence and let God's love and goodness enfold me and care for me. This is what is meant to be for me. From this moment on, I will live consciously in the presence of God. God will show me the way to go with my writing. I can still write about Kate and Nick. Maybe Jason and maybe not. We’ll see. Tomorrow I will drive to work and God will be right there with me. I've wanted to write since I was a little girl. I wanted to write because I loved to read so much. The feeling was just there inside me and it still is. I've written way over half a million words and I have millions more inside me. It's not like I believe that Unity is the only religion -- it's that I believe it's the right one for me. Just like I finally realized that LDS was the wrong thing for me. And I'm okay with Mike and Becky and Will and the Catholic church. I don't know if E will ever be Catholic but whatever she does is okay with me. Maybe I can use the LDS thing in this book -- maybe one of Kate's friends went through that -- or her mother Jenny. Jenny and Kate go to church together and they're both active in the church. Sometimes Nick goes with them and he participates in the activities. He does the church's website as a volunteer and as a hobby for himself. Our life is determined by how we deal with what happens to us. Some of what happens to us is under our control by our choices and decisions and the goals we make and meet. Other things that happen to us are random, by chance, with no rhyme nor reason, just happenstance. But how we react to that happenstance, how we handle what happens to us is under our control and very much determines our lives. Johnny, bless his heart, handled his happenstance most nobly. I am so proud of him and so proud to be his wife and blessed to have loved him.576	
22		573	6/7/2010	6/7/10 -- How do I write mysteries if I want to write religious things? Maybe the religious things are a thread, a theme through the mysteries. I came up with an idea that a person's religion has to be personal to him or her. There's no one size fits all. Each of us has to feel right and comfortable with our religion. That's what was so wrong for me with the LDS religion. It didn't feel right to me. I couldn't believe all those outlandish things like the golden plates and the book of Mormom and celestial marriage and polygamy. I was forcing myself to believe it because I wanted to believe it. Unity is right for me because that's what I really believe. Catholicism is really right for Becky because that's what she really believes. Catholicism works for Mike and Will just because they can handle that. I don't know what Ellen believes -- it's not an organized religion -- she has her own religion -- the gospel according to E -- she mentions having conversations with God so I think she does believe in God. There was a point where I thought I should convert everyone to Unity because that's the only religion that's real and important but that's not true at all. I think it's all right to write my mysteries and not make them into a conversion tool for Unity. People in my stories can be any religion they want, or no religion at all. I know what I believe and what I want but I give others that same right. So I think Kate and Jenny are Unity, Nick is a fallen away Catholic who sort goes along with what Kate believes and goes to some of the church events and on Christmas and Easter, to be with Kate. She sort of feels that if they were to have children, he would go with the family to church. Kate loves reading Nick's columns. She helped him compile the book of columns that got published and together they decided on the categories to group them. Kate is a writer also, of mystery fiction, but she doesn't have enough confidence in her abilities. Did Jenny and Parker have an affair? No, Jenny fell in love with Parker and he fell in love with her. But neither of them condoned fidelity. Jenny left his company and went to work somewhere else, making substantially more money, doing work that she loved, managing a small group of data entry workers at UMSL.. She never knew that Parker had arranged for her to get the job. He was friends with the chancellor of the university and was on the Chancellor's Council. He'd told her about this particularly amazing worker at his firm and that she was job hunting, wanting something other than secretarial work. The chancellor told him their fund raising department was going to computerize their gift processing system and they needed someone to manage the data entry workers. Parker had someone else tell Jenny about the availability of the job. She never knew of his involvement. For years they would see each other sporadically at events around town. Then to Jenny's dismay, Kate had started dating Nick in high school. Jenny had tried to discourage the relationship, telling Kate she was too young to get serious about anyone but it didn't work. So Parker and Jenny found themselves thrown together as in-laws. 573	
23		516	6/8/2010	6/8/10 -- I'm feeling good about my realization about religion. I kept thinking I had to proselytize and convert everyone to Unity but I don’t have to do that and I don't have to write about Unity except as I want to. I like the idea of Parker and Jenny eventually getting together. I like the idea that she didn't have an affair with him, that she did the honorable thing and left. Jenny never told anyone about her love for Parker. Kate had found it strange that her mother seemed slightly aloof from the Angelos, something that was uncharacteristic of Jenny. I have to figure out Kate's two friends, Haley and somebody. I don't know yet who they are or what they do. One of them is married to a friend of Nick and the foursome does a lot of things together. The other friend is single and it's a joke among the foursome that they're always fixing her up with someone -- and the fix-ups never work. Nick and his Dad are very close. They have a fun, loving relationship. It's unspoken between them about Victoria and Jason. Nick and Parker both made their peace a long time ago with the dysfunction of Victoria and Jason. I'm not sure what the Angelo fortune is -- I think it may be Dynatron, the aerospace firm. Their estate in Huntleigh Woods is an oasis -- almost their own country club. Nick grew up in a privileged lifestyle but it didn't negatively impact him. He chose to go to public school, because of a couple of kids who lived on the outskirts of Huntleigh. The first day of junior high school, he met Kate and refused to consider private school. Parker was okay with Nick's choice but Victoria was livid, claiming that she was humiliated to have a son who attended public school. All through junior and senior high, Nick and Kate dated, much to Jenny's chagrin. She tried to gently discourage the relationship but couldn't bring herself to forbid Kate to date Nick. She had no reason that she could give. I think Haley is a counselor also, in practice with Kate. Their other friend is Mallory -- a beautiful, brilliant attorney. She's rigidly single, having been engaged twice, once breaking off the relationship literally as she walked down the aisle. She felt she'd never live down that humiliation. The three girls met in high school and remained close friends after graduation and during their college years. They lived in various St. Louis neighborhoods but got together frequently for lunch or dinner. They treated Nick like one of the girls, and he enjoyed their company but didn't make a habit of hanging out with them too much. He felt Kate needed her friends to be her friends. Both Nick and Kate are wise, mature, fun-loving, interesting and interested in life. They complete each other, complement each other. Sometimes they squabble over minor things but never major things, and the small squabbles quickly dissipate. They've grown into each other. they're one of those rare soul mate couples.516	
24		535	6/9/2010	
6/9/10 -- I can see the ending of Night's End. Jason and Victoria are struggling at the cliff and they fall over together, crashing on the jagged rocks below. Jason has Kate imprisoned in the hunting lodge but she had managed to escape. She saw them go over the cliff and ran inside to call the police. The book starts out at St. Sebastian, when Harry shows Kate the secret hidden tunnels and caves under the mental hospital. Harry swears her to secrecy but she crosses her fingers because she knows she's going to tell Nick. Later that day, Kate realizes she's lost an earring, a gift from Nick and she finds a flashlight and goes back down into the tunnels. She finds the earring but also sees what looks like a light down a corridor that's blocked by huge boulders, like something caved in. Her flashlight is getting dim so she hurries back into the hospital, determined to explore the tunnels again at a later date, just like Nancy Drew she thinks. That night, Kate tells Nick about the tunnels and he's fascinated. He does some research on the Internet and can't find much about the tunnels. He wants Kate to show them to him but she's hesitant because of Harry. He's a weird guy and she's sure he'll react badly if he were to discover that she told someone his secret. Kate finally agrees to talk with Harry and try to convince him that he should show his secret caves to her husband, who is a very special person, and who she's sure Harry will like. There will be a dinner out with the girls when we find out more about Kate and Haley and Mallory, the drop dead lawyer. I don't know if Mallory is in private practice or is a public defender or a prosecuting attorney,  Kate has someone that Nick knows that she wants to fix Mallory up with but Mallory categorically refuses. Next we'll introduce Jenny and this will lead to Parker and Victoria. This will lead to Jason and his sociopathology and Victoria's absolute dependence and obsession. Then we go to Jason and that he's a serial murderer. Maybe Mallory is a prosecuting attorney and the talk is all about a beautiful young woman who's disappeared. She's one of a long string of women who've disappeared and whose bodies have never turned up. This particular woman worked in the courthouse as a court reporter and Mallory had known her to say hi how are you, for years. The plot of the book is that Kate eventually realizes that Jason is a murderer. At first, she's just convinced he's a soulless psychopath, from her years of observation. She's never shared her opinion of Jason with Nick, but she knows that he too wants nothing to do with his twin brother and pretty much has written him off and out of his life. Kate's not lying to NIck, just protecting him from her condemnation of Jason. She eventually confesses to Nick what her opinion of Jason is but she still gets abducted by him, He's come to hate Kate because she and Nick won't have anything to do with him. 535	
25		525	6/10/2010	6/10/10 -- An amazing thing happened today -- I interviewed Jim McKenzie and it was a very special experience. I was dreading doing it because Mary Beth told me I was supposed to write an article about how he knew Coach Wooden and I hate doing that kind of thing. But we talked for an hour and I taped it because it was hard to take notes. I'll work on it Friday and send it to him. He's a very religious spiritual man. He's Catholic. He kneels and prays every night. He reads scripture every day. I'm going to transcribe the tape. He grew up in St. Louis. He went to UMSL at Bellerieve Country Club. He believes he knows the exact time Coach Wooden dying. He was on his knees saying his evening prayers and the darkness behind his eyes turned into a brilliant white light. He's going to send me one of Coach Wooden's books. He refers to the book of wisdom, as he calls it, at least a couple times a week. Heavenly Father intended this for me. Just as Heavenly Father intended the thing about the Culture & Kudos Rate a Page comments. I will joyously welcome all that comes my way because it all comes from Heavenly Father. Julie came by and shared with me about her son seeing her brother, about her niece having tea with him, work boots with red laces. The Jim McKenzie thing is a really important thing that has happened to me.  I think it's life-changing like the vertigo bringing me closer to God. I intend to do a lot of research about Coach Wooden and try to understand how he got to be who he was and what he was. I'll also do a good job of transcribing the Jim McKenzie tape. this will change my life for the better and I welcome this gift from God. I shall commit to this. The vertigo was a life-changing event that told me I wanted to serve the Lord, commit myself to God, which is always what I've wanted but didn't know how to achieve. Now I'm ready to get the message from Coach Wooden and Jim McKenzie to figure out how to do it and what I want to do. Maybe this will help my writing also. I'm not really a good writer. It's very hard for me and it turns out badly. Tina and Kelly are so much better than me but I mean well and I'll let Heavenly Father help me and love me and be with me. All is well and all is good. I will report my progress and report how I'm doing and what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling. I think this advice can lead me in the right direction along with Unity. I think this advice will be the motivational, inspirational advice that I need. I'm totally excited and psyched about this. I know this is what I'm supposed to do and what I'm meant to do. I will explore and think and be grateful for all of this. It was meant to be and intended to be.525	
26		1032	6/12/2010	6/12/10 -- Those three weeks or so of my episode or whatever it was, I got out of the habit of writing my 500 words a day. Now it's time to get back in the habit of writing 500 words a day, just as it's time to get back in the habit of walking for 20 minutes a day. I didn't write yesterday -- I think I forgot or something -- so I'm going to try to write 1000 words tonight -- and I have a great deal to write about. The dizziness episode changed my life -- I'm going to try to make it a change for the better. It destroyed my confidence so I'm hoping that effect eventually goes away. I'm getting over my fear of driving but it's as though something can strike out of the blue with no warning. I guess I've always known that intellectually but not emotionally. I felt at the mercy of others, not in control. The diarrhea was horrible. The way I looked was horrible -- being dependent on others was horrible. But what I learned from the whole thing is that I want to change my life for the better. I want a different life. I want a life where I serve the Lord -- when I get rid of my ego and self-centeredness and selfishness -- where I just think about myself. I want to do for others. I want to care about others. I want to help others. God comes first. I serve the Lord. I will be the best person I can be. I will be the best mother and grandmother I can be. I will be the best news editor and Web person I can be. I will be the best mystery writer I can be. I will be the best wife to Johnny that I can be. I will believe in heaven and that we'll be together again. I believe in life after death. I believe in spirituality. I believe that Jim McKenzie had a vision that Coach Wooden died. I believe that Julie's son had a vision of his uncle and that Rob's daughter saw him and had tea with him and it wasn't make-believe. I believe that the tape didn't tape because of all kinds of reasons and that's okay. It might have become a token or talisman and that wouldn't have been a good thing for me. I did something good for myself today -- I went to Macy's and bought five suits that cost $383 and that was a good thing to do for myself. The reason I dieted all those years was to look good in clothes. So I bought clothes that I look good in. I'm done with dieting. I will eat healthfully. My weight is 136 and I will watch what I eat so I can get back down to that weight. I weighed 139 this morning. I did another good thing for myself today and took back the glasses that don't work and ordered ones that do. Thank you Father for giving me guidance and direction. When I get the Coach Wooden book I will read it right away until it's finished. He was a great inspirational, motivational man and I want to learn from him.  I had a major realization about religion. I don't have to convince others to join Unity. Any one's religion is fine. Whatever works for someone is what works for them. I don't have to write about religion --  I can write my mysteries -- whatever I want to write. There is a kind a book I write -- all the ones I've written have been that kind of book. It's a mystery, suspense, with women, with a bit of romance but not a  lot. Little or no sex or swearing. They're upbeat, not downers. Victoria s gorgeous -- even at age 60. She's tall and slender with beautiful thick curls, blond mostly but covered up a bit. She has brilliant green eyes that have a turquoise cast when she's in the sunlight. Jason's condition has destroyed her life. She lives only for him -- she's obsessed with him. But she still has a social life. It's just her emotional, personal life that's destroyed. Parker has distanced himself from Victoria and Jason in order to save his sanity. He knows there's something wrong with Jason and that Victoria is too wrapped up in her son. Parker had concentrated on Nick and Meggie and left Jason to Victoria. It was as though there were two separate Angelo families, who came together for holidays and other family occasions. Even though they ate dinner together most nights of the week, it was as if there were two separate dinners, with one side talking to each other and the other side doing the same. Jenny had fallen in love with Parker and he knew it. He kept his distance, didn't encourage her, even though he himself had feelings for her. But he was a married man, a married Catholic man, and his vows meant something to him. His religion meant something to him. So they never spoke of it and Jenny eventually left, with Parker's help, even though Jenny never knew about that. At the time of the story, Meggie is at odds with remaining in the convent. She is appalled at the news reports of priests abusing young boys. She can't believe the church let this happen, that they tried to deny it existed and tried to cover it up. She goes to the Mother Superior and requests a leave of absence to go home to visit with her family. The Mother Superior refuses but Meggie is adamant, saying it's crucial that she see her family. She hasn't lost her faith and belief in God -- to the contrary, her faith is stronger than ever. It's the church hierarchy, the church infrastructure that's she lost faith in.  Meggie and her father and brother write letters to each other, something that the order allows but does not encourage. Meggie never hears from her mother or Jason -- it's as though she doesn't have a mother and a second brother. 1032	
27		504	6/13/2010	6/13/10 -- It's time to get serious about a plot. Once I have a plot, I can start writing or I can do a synopsis. We'll see how it goes. Maybe I do both. The book opens at St. Sebastian with Kate having had a horrible day as an intake specialist. Harry the weird custodian takes her on a tour of the tunnels and caves under St. Sebastian but swears her to secrecy. Of course, Kate tells her newspaper columnist husband about her adventure when she gets home that night and of course that whets Nick's appetite and curiosity. Kate had gone back into the tunnels without Harry -- she'd lost one of her earrings, a wedding present from Nick. She took a flashlight with her but the light kept getting dimmer and dimmer. She got turned around and found something in one of the tunnels She finally found her earring and made it out just before the flashlight completely died. She finds a cufflink that reminds her of something -- it's something that belongs to Jason. It has his initials on it. It's old and scratched. She puts it in her pocket and keeps forgetting to tell Nick about it. When Kate gets home, Nick tells her that Meggie is coming home for a visit. He says she wrote their father and explained that she was struggling with her allegiance to the Catholic church because of the perverted priests who were sexually abusing young boys. She had gotten special permission from the Mother Superior for a leave of absence to think about her future as a nun. Kate wants Meggie to come stay with them but Nick says that would hurt his Dad. He tells her that they'll be able to visit with Meggie often as soon as she gets home. Okay, here's the deal. For the next couple of days I'll work on the plot outline and then I'll start writing. I should be able to start on Thursday, June 17, 2010, our 50th wedding anniversary. Meggie calls Nick that night and asks if she can come visit, even though it;s already 10 pm. Nick says sure and before he can hang up, Meggie starts to cry and says she needs to come stay there. Nick says come ahead. When Meggie gets there, she tells Nick about how horrible it is at home. Their parents are barely speaking. Victoria is obsessed with Jason and he barely acknowledges her. She humiliates herself over him. Parker has distanced himself from Victoria and Jason and lives as if he;s alone. Meggie is distraught about the destruction of her family. She had no idea. Shortly after Meggie arrives in a cab, Parker shows up. The four of them sit in the living room around the fireplace (it's October and chilly outside.) Kate brings out soda and chips and they all talk until midnight. Parker apologizes for the mess the family has become. Nick wants to know why his Dad never told him how bad it was. 504	
28		555	6/17/2010	6/17/10 -- Plot line -- synopsis -- Jeffery Deaver 180 pages. Opening of book is The security Kate's horrendous day as an intake specialist at t. Sebeastian. She was attacked by a patient gone wild. guard was away from his desk in the rest room. The patient grabbed Kate and tried to strangle her. She grabbed hold of her laptop and hit him on the side of the head. It startled him more than hurt him and that gave her enough time to run out of the intake room and head for the security desk. But there's no one there. She yells for help and two orderlies come running down the hall. The patient has escaped out the front entrance door. Kate sends them in that direction. The patient was a tall heavy set bald man who was going through alcohol and drug withdrawal. One of the physicians insists on checking Kate out. She has a scrape on one arm and an abrasion on her chin from hitting the man's head. Meggie can feel the evil emanating from Jason. At first, she can't bring herself to share her feelings with Nick. But then she starts to worry that Jason might hurt someone. So she first confides in Kate. Kate goes over to her desk, unlocks a bottom drawer and pulls out a copy of her doctoral dissertation and hands it to Meggie. Meggie looks quizzically at her sister in law and then begins to read the paper. After the first page, she looks at Kate and Kate nods her head. Meggie continues to read while Kate goes into the kitchen to make a pot of tea. They talk about Jason and his problem. Meggie confides her fear that Jason is going to hurt someone, then adds, if he hasn't already. They discuss whether to share their fears with Nick and both of them realize that they have to -- that they should have done so long ago. But Nick calls to them he's on his way out of town to cover the story of an execution. Marion State prison in Illinois. It's a man he wrote a column about 10 years ago. The man is scheduled to be executed tomorrow and Nick is going to cover the execution. He keeps a backpack at the office with the essentials for an overnight trip -- clean shirt and underwear, razor, deodorant, toothbrush and toothpaste, and most important, a crossword puzzle book and the Words of ?Wooden book by legendary basketball coach John Wooden.

Kate is tempted to ask Nick to cancel his plans, to come home so Meggie and she can talk to him about Jason. But she restrains herself, telling herself that tomorrow or the next day is soon enough, 

Kate is scheduled for a night out with the girls the next night and she invites Meggie to come along. At first Meggie says no, that she doesn't want to intrude and that her nun-ness would inhibit Kate's friends. Kate finally convinces Meggie that she and Haley and Mallory would enjoy her company, would love to have her join them. Mallory belongs to one of dining clubs in downtown St. Louis and that's where they're planning to meet. The place always inhibits Kate but she's never shared that with Mallory, not wanting to upset her friend. 555